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*A change*We're looking for 10 people to replace 10 people, because slackers get noticed in this joint, got that? Flexible hours, no experience necessary, but you must have the mindset "W.I.T." In addition, you must be able to pass a background check, a drug test, and have a car, a driver's license, and the ability to sit through the always-dreaded reading of and listening to personal development material. If you can get "wit" that program, you're hired! No, we're not really going to explain anything else about the job at this time, so you can stop reading now & go call the regional recruiter. 
*Clean my house today*Yeah, you know the drill: dust, vacuum, change the sheets, clean the bathrooms, blah blah blah. It's so boring, I stopped doing it several months ago, because it was summer and I had so many fun things to do. But now it's December and the place is starting to smell, and wouldn't you know, I'm having to host this party thingy later on tonight, and...well, I thought my afternoon time would be better utilized at the beauty salon. Can we all agree on that, please? Thank you. So, show up as early as you can, and I'm thinking it really shouldn't take more than three hours to cut through this nasty build-up. I won't tip, so don't bother with corners, areas beneath rugs or anything that's not strictly superficial. 
*Person with RV*You bought the RV and thought retirement would be a breeze, but you forgot about all those details like park fees and gas, didn't you? Well, how's about you park your RV on our property, which is small, fenced, and well-lit. Just do some occasional almost-work, such as telling people where to park, or checking the mail, and we'll provide utilities. Sounds mutually beneficial, right? Send us a note, with photo of your RV, and we'll see what we can work out.
